We just got home yesterday from the hospital...and it's great to be home!!! The hospital stay was nothing but postive either...but to be home and to be with ALL of my sweeties is the best place to be!!!
I wouldn't say that I've been having a lot of "baby blues" but the emotions in this house are higher the last day or so!!!
I just feel so bad for Ezra & Matthijs...I guess I just feel a little guilty that I have a new baby that I love just as much as them! Im having a hard time saying no...and standing my ground with them...just because I dont want them to think that they are "less than" now that Isla is here.
Yesterday Ezra had a skipping rope accident...that involved Isla...she didn't mean for the rope to get in the way of Isla's face while she was practicing...but it did! It wasn't major and Isla wasn't hurt...just startled...but Ezra was absolulty beside herself...feeling so bad that she had made her little sister cry. I didn't want her to feel bad but explained how small and weak Isla is and that the things we used to be able to do we need to be more careful if Isla is around! Ezra is doing the best job ever at being a great big sister...she always wants to hold her, or her hand, kiss her, talk to her, welcome her to our "girls club" and asking her if she is happy to be a part of it!!! Ezra is falling apart emotionally if we answer anything with a "no"! She is sleep deprived...and that doesnt help!! But Ezra sweetie, you are still my sweet little princess...nothing and no-one will ever change that! Thank you for being who you are...most of all, thank you for being MINE!!!
Matthijs, you made mommy shed a few tears yesterday too...daddy had just taken Ezra to work for a few things, Grampy was out for a coffee...Grandma was with Isla...and I was given the chance to have some quality alone time with you my handsome prince outside playing!!! We were building sandcastles and I think maybe only 5-10mins went by before Grandma called me in because Isla needed to eat. I felt so guilty...you wanted to keep playing with mommy (and I wanted to keep playing with you) You DIDN'T want to go inside...but I had to go. So you stayed outside...I felt so sad leaving you there to play alone. When I went in to feed Isla I watched from the window...a couple minutes went by and you stood up, with a sad look on your face...I couldn't hear you but saw that you were calling for mommy. It broke my heart to be watching you from the couch, while trying to feed Isla...and you wanted me. Im sorry handsome!!! I love you so much...I want to be with you all the time...right now its hard for all of us and it'll take time for us all learn how to divide our time between each other...but I am here for you...now and ALWAYS!! Then you walked to the door and asked for grandma...didn't take long for grandma to whip on her shoes and jump into the fun that you and mommy were having!!! Im glad that you were still having fun playing and building sandcastles with grandma! Im thankful that my mom was here to do that with you, while I couldn't! I love you my handsome little prince....you are my sweet baby boy..and I love you more than words!
Life will be "normal" again...soon!!! Just gotta get used to this family of 5!!!
Love Mommy
xoxo
